40+ Funky Fresh Tweets That Are Both Relevant and Hilarious (December 23, 2023)

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  • 01
    Trey the Explainer @Trey Explainer I saw him yesterday and I'm at a total loss for words Tok 12:36 PM 12/15/23 from Earth 1.8M Views
  • 02
    Chris Hewitt @ChrisHewitt I just found out about recency bias, and I'd have to say that out of all the biases, it's my favourite. 5:29 AM 12/18/23 from Earth. 1.2M Views 2K Reposts 56 Quotes
  • 03
    VAEL @elle91 Oh no, I finished all of my little word games for the day and now I have to feel my feelings 2:00 PM 12/15/23 from Earth. 1.1M Views . 3K Reposts 128 Quotes
  • 04
    reb @rebmasel "um as you should?" to my best friend describing a felony 6:07 PM 12/16/23 from Earth. 2.1M Views . 7.6K Reposts 305 Quotes
  • 05
    Warren @swd2 A few things in life we just know. Like if your attorney has this haircut, you are about to write a check for $148M. N, DC 5:02 PM 12/15/23 from Earth 293K Views . 1.3K Reposts 188 Quotes .
  • 06
    Stone Cold Jane Austen @AbbyHiggs Pop tarts suggest the existence of Mom Tarts. But they don't exist because of the Pastryarchy 4:14 PM 12/15/23 from Earth. 50K Views . 180 Reposts 5 Quotes 1.5K Likes 34 Bookmarks
  • 07
    Natalie @jbfan911 Get up girl this is embarrassing ICED LEMON LOAF 450 Cal 3:16 PM 12/16/23 3.9M Views 3.3K Reposts 219 Quotes
  • 08
    Ms. Netta Stan Account @Beebz05 "Any fun plans for the weekend??" just start the mf meeting man 1:06 PM 12/15/23 from Earth. 1.8M Views 8.9K Reposts 796 Quotes
  • 09
    Chairman of the FPA (Fat P... @fagcfo Sorry but this Indian takeaway is out of control bc what is this == 10:15 AM 12/17/23 from Earth 3.2M Views . on
  • 10
    ashley ray @theashleyray so will got with kate middleton cuz everyone at his college said she was hot and he was like "eh, ok" and she got with him cuz her mom plotted on it, like the crown really ruined any idea of a love story between them 2:05 PM 12/16/23 from Earth 3.8M Views 1.3K Reposts 400 Quotes
  • 11
    Michael Benjamin @mfbenji Senate video has made it to the straight group texts Is this safe space so I can ask a gay people question What's with the strappy underwear 2:50 PM 12/16/23 from Earth. 752K Views 469 Reposts 58 Quotes
  • 12
    emily @emilykmay one time, i asked my parents why they picked my mom's younger sister in their will if anything were to happen. my mom paused and said, "because aunt susan's pantry is the exact same ours. you could open it, and the cheerios would be exactly where they were supposed to be." 8:48 PM 12/16/23 from Earth 651K Views 428 Reposts 39 Quotes .
  • 13
    emz! @blahblahemily I could not be a serial killer. I'd get drunk and be like "can I tell you a secret" in the bar bathroom 9:20 PM 12/15/23 from Earth 897K Views 1.7K Reposts 118 Quotes
  • 14
    Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan Two elderly English ladies greeting each other ALT aloe vera . cleansing wipes tulY women's evening primrose oil 500mg 12x61 12:44 PM 12/16/23 from Earth.43K Views 90 CAPSULES 121 Reposts 5 Quotes 980 Likes 32 Bookmarks
  • 15
    tomb @TurmShrub joe rogan: an ape, an ape will you up man. that's why I wanted you on, you already know- donkey kong (leaning into mic): indeed joe. but honestly I wanted to talk about what's happening on Kong island.. Rogan: oh it's a mess over there. biden definitely isn't helping 9:23 AM 12/15/23 from Earth-688K Views . 700 Reposts 5 Quotes 10K Likes 301 Bookmarks
  • 16
    kenzi @kenzianidiot my dad goes to a bar with his friends every friday and he makes a list of discussion topics pt 41 y: Investigate H Paragraph Agenda ✓ F Normal • Reaper Madness • Trivia . General Discussion No Spacing Outdoor Christmas decorations . NBA "Game Ball" • College bowl season • Regifting • Reassessment/Property Taxes • Vet bill costs for furry friends 2024 Top Golf field trip • Rivian ly Heading 1 Head Styles 12-15-23 Note; this weeks Board Meeting will start 1½ hours early due to
  • 17
    america's lounge singer @KrangTNelson damn so you guys WATCHED watched that video huh The alleged staffer can also be seen in a photo, naked on all fours, looking back at the camera on the table where Senators often sit to ask questions during a hearing. It appears to be unprotected sex. DAILY CALLER Daily Caller @DailyCaller 15h EXCLUSIVE from @Henryrodgersdc Senate Staffer Caught Filming Gay Sex Tape In Senate Hearing Room (GRAPHIC dailycaller.com/2023/12/15/sta... 8:46 PM 12/15/23 from Earth.
  • 18
    Eli McCann @EliMcCann This dog, who was born onto a silk pillow and has only ever known comfort, just growled at me because I only gave him one piece of gourmet cheese.
  • 19
    Royotathon @Royotathon santa can deliver all those presents in one night because he's mainlining that panera lemonade 6:11 PM 12/10/23 from Earth.143K Views 142 Reposts 2.7K Likes 26 Bookmarks
  • 20
    $lap @slvppy GTA pedestrians trying to get they car back after i throw em out
  • 21
    Ron Iver @ronnui_ Panera VP of Marketing: Our sales have gone up 41% since our lemonade killed two people. CEO: Dang it. That means- Panera VP of Marketing: Yes, we have to put a gun inside our buffalo chicken melt. 2:25 PM 12/11/23 from Earth. 505K Views . 427 Reposts 4 Quotes
  • 22
    Alex Cohen @anothercohen In America, there is nothing to drink except for Panera's charged lemonade. If you ask for any other beverage you are beaten. If you drink too much of the lemonade it kills you The Joe Rogan Experience 9:52 PM 12/15/23 from Earth. 42K Views . 22 Reposts 1 Quote 418 Likes 10 Bookmarks
  • 23
    cal? @cal_gif can you imagine giving a Panera charged lemonade to a Victorian child 11:43 AM - 12/9/23 from Earth.815K Views . 1.1K Reposts 100 Quotes
  • 24
    Corn →* @upblissed it look like he shooting his shot but nah his big fr jus likes chocolate NBAĆentel @TheNBACentel 19h Zion Williamson taking his shot at Kendall Jenner CENTEL alljenner 7.1K Reposts 235 Quotes villiamson 1,561 likes Reply View 6 previous replies kendalljenner @zionwilliamson I like chocolate 3:06 PM 12/16/23 12M Views 18m 746 likes Reply
  • 25
    lexaprofessional @queasy_f_bby my friend said her fav cuisine is "carnival"- hot dogs, popcorn, cotton candy, etc 2:49 PM 12/17/23 from Earth. 131K Views . 137 Reposts 42 Quotes
  • 26
    Jabu @Whotfismick "send me the picture we took last night" the photo: 8:00 AM - 12/17/23 from Earth. 1M Views . 1.7K Reposts 124 Quotes
  • 27
    Pain Be WILIN @PainBeWILIN___ I identify as a Xmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside. I also got balls 11:24 AM - 12/15/23 from Earth. 18K Views . 83 Reposts 1 Quote 304 Likes 12 Bookmarks
  • 28
    peter @_binbag god forbid a woman has hobbies ed @erar97 22h this is always knitting
  • 29
    The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana being 23 and having a friend who is 25 9:54 PM 12/16/23 from Earth. 1.6M Views . 1K Reposts 1K Quotes 22K Likes 1K Bookmarks
  • 30
    soul nate @MNateShyamalan santa to all of the other reindeer: I can excuse bullying but I draw the line at bullying someone useful 10:17 AM - 12/17/23 from Earth. 29K Views 78 Reposts 1 Quote 1.1K Likes 12 Bookmarks
  • 31
    Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti the tongs preventing me from opening the kitchen drawer I need.. 12:39 PM 12/17/23 from Lubbock, TX 1.1M Views . 2K Reposts 56 Quotes 32K Likes 426 Bookmarks
  • 32
    tall melanie @tallmeanie asked my bf to edit a cheesy christmas card for us IT TAKES TWO, TO MAKE A DREAM COME TRUE What the Are those the twin towers Okay I'll try again G 4:29 PM 12/17/23 from Earth 426K Views 666 Reposts 43 Quotes Delivered
  • 33
    Corn →* @upblissed tf they doin in front of the Fortnite battle bus RapTV @Rap-1d New photo of Tory Lanez in prison !! GRAC 12/15/2023.16 7:52 PM 12/16/23 from Earth - 2.4M Views 674 Reposts 5 Quotes 25K Likes 275 Bookmarks
  • 34
    zae @itszaeok i love how inclusive this post is Ldsphu @Ldsphu2.2d Objectively the FINEST men in Disney
  • 35
    fungus girl @HamsterEmoji my bf sent a picture of us to his mom and im confused. do i just look vegan LOL I took Sara to my work Xmas party oh how nice. u guys look so good is she vegan 3:07 PM 12/17/23 from Earth. 1.9M Views
  • 36
    Jaby @Whotfismick "your 20s will be the greatest years of your life" me in my 20s: 813 10:06 AM 12/17/23 from Earth 2.2M Views 13K Reposts 357 Quotes
  • 37
    Chris Coro @iamchriscoro That era when u dropped ya phone and the battery flew out was just crazy 1:04 AM - 12/17/23 from Earth. 2M Views . 7.1K Reposts 741 Quotes
  • 38
    Janel Comeau @VeryBad Llama happy "pushing the absolute limits of Amazon Prime shipping because you meant to do all your shopping by November at the latest but time got away from you and now here we are a week from Christmas" week to all those who celebrate 11:01 PM 12/16/23 from Earth - 26K Views . 76 Reposts 8 Quotes 838 Likes 6 Bookmarks
  • 39
    limp brittzkit @Brittymigs i call this the honeymoon suite 7:32 PM 12/17/23 from Earth. 106K Views 136 Reposts 11 Quotes 2.8K Likes 35 Bookmarks
  • 40
    skanks @skanks17 original four loko is BACK baby W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre 94.9h Hear me out Thes Tito's. O Handmade VODKA Award Winning American V Crafted in an Old Fashioned Pot Still STILLED & BOTTLED BY FIFTH GENERATION IN AUSTRZE PAG. AUSTIN TEXAS Start Panera BREAD Join with MyPanera UNLIMITED SEP CLUB Panersraad.com/USC
  • 41
    Fredo @FredoInDaCut995 I want four kids so I can say "my four lokos lets roll" 7:53 PM - 12/17/23 from Earth. 1.2M Views . 3.3K Reposts 193 Quotes
  • 42
    No Laying Up @NoLayingUp Running into someone whose name I should definitely remember but I don't Big dog. 9:32 AM 12/18/23 from Earth 948K Views . 1.2K Reposts 84 Quotes .
  • 43
    big pookie @heybri_ Insurance company like: YOU HIT WHO???? philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_-3h The man who crashed into the presidential motorcade last night was under the influence of alcohol, authorities said 9:57 AM 12/18/23 from Earth.3.6M Views . 10K Reposts 193 Quotes
  • 44
    Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy My wife and I have taken 6 photos together in the last 2 years. Meanwhile we've taken 93 photos of our dog sleeping since last week. 1:03 PM 12/17/23 1.4M Views . 1.2K Reposts 165 Quotes
  • 45
    Johanna Winant @johannawinant The crows that my mom befriended brought her this gift. She likes it but said, "obviously someone else is trying to befriend them and gave it to them and they regifted it to me"
  • 46
    purple @prplexi when you try on clothes without your makeup and hair being done 8:03 AM 12/17/23 from Earth. 1M Views 3K Reposts 81 Quotes 34K Likes 515 Bookmarks

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